Faster Than A Minute Goes By On A Clock

IMG_3813

It’s crazy how fast time flies by. My children are now 8 months old and I still feel like it was just yesterday I was looking at them for the first time. Rylee is now crawling and Wyatt is saying mommy. They went from learning how to crack a smile, to giggling, to jumping, to recognizing faces, saying their first words, eating human food and now realizing how nasty that zombie baby food is and constantly craving ceviche, crab, and steak. It’s kind of incredible how the human race survived. We had so many obstacles we had to concur moments after arriving into the world and we survive. I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that a baby can survive just off milk. They don’t need water or food to survive because the milk has all the nutrients a baby needs. MIND BLOWN. I remember the first night I brought them home and how scared I was to just let them sleep… I swore something was going to happen to them whether it be them not breathing or over heating from how many blankets and clothes I had on them… Lol I know, we live in the Caribbean but this Alaskan and these two boricuas…>> We don’t do well in the cold, like A/C is even too much. I remember being so exhausted I’d dose off while feeding them and then wake up to them screaming because the bottle wasn’t in their mouths anymore. I remember the pain from the C-section and feeling like I was going to break in half with every step I took or every time I had to get up. The first month was HARD. Like so hard I don’t think I could do it a second round. I wasn’t just exhausted because I was feeding twins every two hours but because I had no idea how I was going to do it. I started scraping together what I could two weeks after childbirth and while doing that I remember thinking how lost I was in how I was still going to be me. I had moved into my parents home so I could start getting myself together enough to support my family. Most people will tell you that you forget what it’s like to have kids with time, that’s why families always have more… I disagree. I loved being pregnant, the twins and I got to eat massive amounts of food and i never gain a pound. We’d have kicking wars and dance offs and sometimes they’d leave me out to have boxing matches. They loved to hear me sing and they loved it when I’d swim in the ocean. (and by loved, I mean they’d stop kicking mommy for a second to enjoy the moment) LIFE WAS GOOD. But, there was many times that made wanting more kids a hard limit. Sitting for instance, nope. Your belly is to big and you are soooo uncomfortable there just is no way you can stand more than ten minutes of anything without lying down. Walking, everything feels like a 5k and you are the turtle still at the start mark. You know that feeling of when a hall looks waaaaay longer than it actually is? … Think of that and burning cavs and holding your belly up. lol I got to know my twins before I even met them from pregnancy, that’s what makes going through it so worth it. They are miracles and to me… They are the most amazing human beings this world has seen yet.  Growing up I never understood why my parents cried on my birthday or why they would be so proud and excited when I didn’t something, that to me, was average. But I get it now as my son says “momma” grabbing my face to pull it in for a slobbery open mouthed kiss while watching my daughter crawl to her toys. Yesterday they were less than a day old…and today they are closer to a year than they are to that first day. A year and a half ago I found out I was pregnant and today im looking at all these memories my little family has created and I still can’t believe that much time has gone by. I heartaches when people tell me their childhoods will pass in the blink of an eye…but I know it’s not a punishment but a blessing because I get to see who my children will grow up to be in the years to pass. Today we are headed to the beach for some much needed island time…and what should I expect? Rylee shoving sand in her mouth as Wyatt tries to swim away from me in the water. There’s a song that comes to mind as I think about all these eyeroll/laughing moments. “Little Wonders” by: Rob Thomas. He sings a line that talks about letting go of the bad and making the most of our lives. I’ve dwelled on the past and the actions of others but I’ve ruined so many opportunities for good memories in the process of that.  I’m done feeling ill feelings towards others because in the end, it’s not my loss or my kids loss, it’s theirs, because my kiddos are pretty freaking incredible and I’m not going to let anyone take a second of that away from me. ​

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: